The FedEx Run

Jeff Says:

Years ago, one of my clients thought it would be a great idea to start a reality series called "The Editor." The tails of Joe the everyday editor.

Last night I lived through one of the editor episodes first hand.

Titled: "The FedEx Run"

6:30pm Fade up from black. Starbucks cups and Diet Coke cans are strewn about the console. The client has emailed with a few last minute changes. No big deal, plenty of time to make the overnight ship deadline. Gotta love FedEx.

7:00pm Jimmy John's for dinner, again!

7:15pm Last change rendered out, checked the show, everything is good.

7:20pm Export finished, time to encode.

7:25pm Client wants two data DVDs. No biggey, but since we are moving the DVD label printer is not hooked up.

7:35pm Printer hooked up but the software is not installed (that computer is already packed up). Great. Which box was that software in??

7:45pm After searching the web frantically for the software, I start to look through boxes.

8:00pm Found the disc! Let's install!

8;05pm The installer want me to close all apps but I'm still encoding I'll have to wait a few.

8:10pm Encode finished. Check the movie... all looks good.

8:15pm Install DVD printing app. Reboot.

8:20pm Launch DVD printing app and design face label.

8:25pm Go print the first DVD. Computer says the driver is not installed. What??

8:26pm Reboot. Again. Still no luck. I'm about ready to throw the printer out the window.

8:30pm Starting to get a little worried about time. Last FedEx drop is at 10pm -- at the airport.

8:35pm Just for grins I try a different user account on the computer and it starts to print. Out of ink. Great, which box was the ink in?

8:39pm After changing the cartridge finally a successful label. Yippie! Time to burn.

8:45pm Time getting tight, finalizing the last couple of discs.

8:50pm I realize that I walked to work today. Time to "briskly" walk home.

9:05pm Get the car keys and run to the car.

9:06pm No gas -- great. Stacey (my wife) says I have enough to get to the airport.

9:35pm Corner of Irving Park and Mannheim -- getting very close to 'E' but I have plenty of time.

9:40pm Corner of Irving Park and South Cargo Road... (giant pothole) WHAM!!!

9:40pm My front left tire is completely flat. Great! I open up the trunk and start to get the spare out, but since I'm so close to the airport there is absolutely no light. Even though I know I can change a tire in less than a minute flat, it's dark and I don't have much time to get to FedEx.

9:42pm About a mile and a half to FedEx. Time to start jogging.

9:42:30 Step in a giant mud puddle. I guess I picked a bad day to wear tennis shoes

9:45pm FedEx truck zooms past. I guess I'd fly past some idiot waving a bunch of papers and DVDs too, if I were him.

9:48pm Gasping for breath, questioning my choice of careers.

9:55pm Not much longer, boy am I out of shape -- joining the gym tomorrow. [Ed. Yeah, right Jeff...]

9:59:30pm I made it!

10:15pm A policeman pulled is up to my car wondering what happened to the driver. Stacey has called AAA, they say it will be an hour. Fun, fun!!!

11:00pm O'Hare wrecker finally arrived.

11:05pm Volkswagen has a locked lug nut and you need special tool to loosen the nut -- and of course we can't find it.

11:10pm Call to Stacey and she tells me where it is since she had the same flat tire happen last year. [Ed. Gotta love these Chicago winters...]

11:24pm Finally on the road home.

What a night, at least the disc got out. Hopefully the client will be happy.

Morale of the story: "Never give up!" (or "Next time, send your assistant to the airport!!")